Is Good Enough, Good Enough?

Question: “Hey friend, wanna try something new and entertain greatness?”

Answer: “Nah, I’m doing ok right now, thanks. Actually, I’m pretty good. I probably don’t need to consider that option.”

After a conversation today I was left considering, Why do we delay starting something that could be great? The easy answer or at least obvious answer to me is, “Right now, I’m pretty good. I’d need to let go of something pretty good. I’d risk that better, won’t actually be better or great.” 

I hear two things in that response. 

One – I think I’m content. Or possibly if we’re really honest, I’m convincing myself that I’m content even though my gut, body, mind, spirit is nudging me differently.

Two – I’m afraid of something. There are a whole bunch of things we could be afraid of. Change, unknown, discomfort, fear, success, opinions of others. Sometimes it’s a combo. 

Let’s first talk about contentment and what that really means. 

I believe being content has everything to do with gratitude and perspective. I don’t believe that if you happen to want something different, you’re showing a lack of contentment. As an example, I can be extremely grateful for the spaghetti and meatballs I’m eating, and still want street tacos tomorrow. If I shared that with a friend, imagine if their response was, “Why can’t you just be content? You’re always wanting more. You greedy mother-loving idiot!” 

However, I’ve experienced this kind of thinking and subtle (or not so subtle judgment from others). Desiring something different or more doesn’t make you greedy, or unsatisfied.

You can be so extremely grateful for what you have, and you can also want something different.

You are complex. Life isn’t linear or black and white all the time. Also, desire isn’t a bad thing. 

So, when is good enough, good enough?

Why should I want more? To play my own devil’s advocate, there are times when we need to calm the truck down. I spent years functioning in this sort of masculine mode to push no matter the cost for something more (and there is a cost). Faster, stronger, better, more, etc., etc.  I wasn’t even attempting to be content. I was striving constantly. If you’re way on that end of the spectrum, I’m not talking to you. I’m not talking about having more or doing more, just because. I’m not talking about doing more at the cost of your own health and well-being. 

I’m talking about delaying greatness, for no reason other than, good is comfy and/or I’m afraid. 

If you knew you could take a leap into a new career and gain two years of experience, hone skills, increase income, and add joy and satisfaction to your life, why would you wait two years? If you do, you’ve just lost the opportunity those two years held. Also, two years from now isn’t guaranteed to you or anyone else.

If you knew you could complete a workout plan, but only 50% of the way, because you just had a baby or because you can’t get into the gym or because Ned the bus driver said so… Why wait another year and be a bump on a log? Because one year of 50% effort is going to give you more life, health, and a jumpstart now, than 0% effort will. Better is better than good.

You name the thing. Ending a relationship, saving for retirement, going back to school, starting therapy, switching brokerages (ehem, yep I said it), starting the side hustle… whatever the thing is… what is the real benefit in waiting? What is the cost in waiting? What is the lost opportunity? When you delay the start of something new, really stop to consider, what else am I delaying? Who else is impacted by my delay, and how does it impact them?

Sometimes, it’s not the right timing to start something new or let something go.

Sometimes, I think timing is our excuse.

Most of the time, I think we’re afraid. Afraid of failure? Maybe. Afraid of success? Likely. 

Most likely if you’re afraid, it’s one of two fears. 

1. Fear of the unknown is a common one.

   Guess what lovelies, the only way to know the unknown, is to go on a little expedition, explore the damn thing, and figure it out. Get to know it. And heck, make a new decision if the first one doesn’t fit.

2. Fear of what others will think.

   Let me say this with love, be mindful of who you listen to. When someone is trying to talk you out of change, or growth, or gaining more, is it possible that they’re afraid of how your change will impact them? Is it possible that your change and growth is going to cause them to look in the mirror and be uncomfortable with their lack of change or growth? I don’t think people do that kind of thing consciously. However, people that try to talk us out of growth are often uncomfortable with themselves. 

Let me play devil’s advocate because I can hear someone saying, “They love me and they’re concerned for me. What if I make a wrong decision and it hurts me?” First, I don’t doubt that they care for you. But hey! You can’t make a mistake. This is life. And so what if you make a decision that’s painful?! You learn from it. You experience pain. And then you get to know the contrast of joy and pleasure even more. Unless you’re thinking of becoming a stunt double and risking your life, it’s going to be ok no matter what. 

Ladies and gents, in short, this is a tough one I know, please remember…

OTHERS DO NOT LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE DECISIONS.

You do. They cannot possibly know all that is going into what you think, or how you feel, or what you need. Only you truly know that. They will not be looking back at you, in the mirror tomorrow morning, when you brush your teeth. They will not be sleeping next to your new hunny bunny. They will not know the intricacies of how this decision will impact you.

You have to live with you. Period.

And at the end of the day, you and Love are what you can count on, no matter what.
They on the other hand will forget about the conversation with you in a few weeks at most. And if they don’t, they may have too much time on their hands, to begin with.

So, why the delay in letting go and entertaining greatness?

You can be content and simultaneously want the best for yourself. It’s good for you to want your best. Others need you that way. Look yourself in the mirror and listen to what you already know. Set the fears aside or tackle them to the ground. Starve them of time so they don’t grow, and then revisit the question, “Is good enough, really good enough when there’s greatness awaiting?”

xo Jen

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